November 2020 Edition

PRESIDENT'S CORNER

Currently my ears are carrying my headphones, my sunglasses, and a face mask. Ears are
the new purse! It is officially wear a sweater in the morning and regret it in the afternoon
type of weather. It also brings new and the same old challenges. For us the challenge is
missing our buddies and wanting to go to a crowded coffee. It is also the time for
thankfulness. Let’s not forget all of our blessings. You are one of my many blessings.
As I have said repeatedly, “Newcomers saved me!” We will turn our many “udder cheeks”
and mooove on until we are told differently. Trust me when I say Donna and I have
sorely missed all of you, the chatter and laughs, the camaraderie with dear ladies,
and all the fun we have. We hold you close in our hearts until we can hold you in
a great big hug. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday and remember us too.
We all WILL and CAN do this.


Do you need advice, a chuckle, a tee hee hee, a har dee, har, har ? Read these quips. It’s all right here.

Aging gracefully is an art. Aging disgracefully is a blast!!

I told my wife how thankful I was to have someone I have enjoyed being quarantined with. She said, “It must be nice.”

It’s important to look closely at campaign signs. Last time I voted for a real estate agent.

Lance is a pretty uncommon name these days, but in medieval times, people were named Lance a lot.

You know when you buy a bag of salad and it gets all brown and soggy? Cookies don’t do that.

Now that I’ve lived through the plague, I know why most Renaissance paintings are of chubby women laying around without bras.

Don’t run with bagpipe. You could put out an aye or worse yet get kilt.

You know you are getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking “I might as well go while I’m here.”

Know where cow farts come from? The Dairy Air. Ha Ha Mooo

It’s weird being the same age as old people.

I want to be like Saul. On the road to De-Mask-us

Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because the “P” is silent.

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He aquired his size from too much Pi.

I’ve noted squirrels gathering nuts for winter and a couple of my friends are missing. Are you in a safe place?

You can only put your big girl panties on and deal with it so many times before the elastic breaks and you really show your a - -.

I see people climbing mountains and zip lining and here I am feeling good about myself because I got my leg through my underwear without losing my balance.

I hate it when I go to the kitchen for dinner and all I find are ingredients.

I may not be the most important person in your life. I just hope that when you hear my name you smile and say, "That's my friend."


Donna and Evelyn
2020 Co-Presidents of
Newcomers Club of Greater Columbia